sigh....

i spent the whle of last night tossing and turning around in my bed. I simply cant get myself into slumberland without remembering unwanted images flashing around in my eyes. I am so painful. Can anyone help me? I cant feel my own heart since monday. I feel strange. Two days without sleep and i am still hanging on, but how much more can i go? i dun know, i really dun know...

I went over to angeline's house this morning. Howevea, i froze at her gate, and i stood there for a veri long time not daring to press the door bell. I was somewhat scared and tired. I din even notice that rain was pouring from the sky. in less than ten minutes i was as wet as a pail of soaked clothes. Still i din mmove. I felt it was as though the sky is crying on my behalf. i stood crying alone in the rain. I cant control myself at all. And just like this, i stood for two hours.

Angie's maid came out and she saw me. She was kinda shocked. She went in to call for angeline. Angeline was so shocked to see me dreched outside alone. She rushed out without even taking umbrella and pulled me into her house. I din feel cold nor sick despite all the rain and all the wind. I felt a strange warmth rising from within wen i saw angeline. i went to take a bath and i was so groggy wen i came out of the bathroom. i was damn tired. Just like that i feel asleep on angie's couch(a chair that can be used for sleeping... extendable type...). it was veri nice of her to put a blanket overme...

i fell into a deep sleep. i guess only angie has the power to relax my tense up mind. thank u angie... thanx for tolerating my dumbness and sadness. sometimes, i just feel that caring for someone can be so painful sometimes, especially when that person means a lot to u. but is also through this times where one finds the happiness within and that is what that makes everything so special. i feel tired and painful, angie... can u open up this daed lock within myself? am i hopeless?

the answer is out... somewhere...