Why? I dun Understand my feelings.....

I felt so strange. I dun undertstand myself at all. After what she told me, i felt a sudden urge in me to confess how i felt. I felt real strange, it is like part of me is gone, i could not feel my heart at all. feel so awful now. Do i like her? I dun know at all. I really dun know. And what was worse was i had to act like i am so happy in front of her, i have to show that i am fine, nothing much is wrong. I hate this! Especially just now, I had such a hard time trying to cope with the fact that, ya, she is gone liao, Ivan give it up la!

Through this few months, i found myself getting moe and more confused. there are so much feelings in me that i had hide in myself, not daring to face them or to deal with it, only when the worst has happened only do i learn to regret my decisions. Argh! Throughout this times, i have learnt to accept the fact that she is important in my heart And i cant deny it at all. I cant sleep tonit, not a way can i fall asleep without the words ringing constantly. I am not heartbroken, but just felt sad and i dun know how to describe it. Limited vocabulary for me.

Love is blind indeed, love is also misleading and i come to terms that one do have the possibilty of liking more than one person at the same time. What makes it different is just the degree of love one has for the other. What am i thinking?? what is wrong with me?? Sigh......