family
somehow i admire my frens whenever they tell me how understanding their parents are or how caring their parents are. Somehow i failed to comprehend what exactly my parents are thinking. It is real hard to emphatise them when all they know is non-stop reprimanding. sometimes i really wonder what exactly did i did that make them so fed up with me. I really could not understand. I really detest staying at home nowadays. it is not that i fear facing my mum, but rather it is the fear of more and more arguments breaking out unnecessarily that makes me hesitant of going back home.
am i a failure? in someways i do feel i am when i see how bad my relationship is with my parents. sigh... i really just dun understand why my mum seem to be so ever angry at me. She seems to be angry over the most tiny weeny bit of things. NOthing is pleasing in her eyes. Scolding, screaming and shouting became her mother tounge. although i felt bad for ignoring her yesterday after the ndp and went over to stay at amanda's hse, i felt that it was the only thing i could do at that moment of anger.
I felt strange yesterday myself too. Instead of calling angie up to go oevr to her place, i chose to go over to ade's place instead. i dun know man. perhaps it is due to her inability to emphatise my situation that i dcided not to go over to her house. Ade stayed up whole night with me and tried her best to calm me down. somehow i really feel so down. i hugged her as i cried out my helplessness and agony. Home to me is just like another form of prison which i dun enjoy going back at all. I do not undestand why i have been thinking this way. I have always regard myself as someone who is mature enough to handle relationships as well as my family. But somehow that picture is gone, gone from the grasp of my hands.
hmmm, i guess i am simply thinking too much. No one is perfect, and everyone has his or her set of weakenesses. I just hope that i am able to mature to be a stronger person, a person of solid goals and resolutions and someone who is able to perfect himself from his weakenesses.
1 Comments:
relax lah. i used to have a lot of probs with my parents too. sometimes it's really give n take. and you have to start with yourself. reflect a bit. do you sound very impatient when you talk to em? is your attitude okae? do you flare up easily? do you try to explain when they ask very funny questions or those you dun feel like answering? take a moment, think about it. you may be able to make their attitude betta when you change yours. sometimes the ppl arnd us are our mirror. how we treat em, they treat us back the same way.
try to change yr attitude and see how it goes. you dun try, you dunno. we all have the innate ability to change our lives. we jus have to start from ourselves n not wait for others to change. that, we call HUMAN REVOLUTION
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