dreadful night....

i lost control once again tonit... worse still, it is in front of all my impt frens... i hate it... why am i such a loser... why did i show them all my sorrows and sadness... why did i have to drown my sorrows? all becausae i could not find a way out at all... fuck it la... from now on, it shall be me, to conqier all my problems myself... maybe keeing everything to myself is much beta... maybe not telling ym mum stuff is much beta... maybe not telling anyone anything is much beta... maybe being alaone is beta... i dunno... i dunno at all... i dunno what i should do at all... my birthday did not turn out as happy as i wanted... sian la... i hate it...