thinking, thinking, thinking....

lately i have been pondering over a lot of issues, issues that revel around bgr, friendship and studies. I just had a catch up session with layling today, and i raised up some questions that have been pondering my mind. It just suddenly came to me that why am i doing so much for frens? why a i not showing enuf attention for my own gf? i dun know... there just seems to be a heartknot in my mind.

layling said that i should not go to such extend to help "fren"... i dunno... it is not that i wan to, but i feel i am obliged to... however, i asked myself too, will i be appreciated? will that my efforts be appreciated? i dun know. i dun know at all. however, i am still praying deep in me that somehow or another my efforts will be appreciated and we will be better frens. it has been real ytough for me to have to sqeeuze out that much cash to do what i need to do... felt real helpless when my frens refuse to pay me back whjat they owed me. i dun know what else i can do except to pray for some forms of miracle...

i dun feel like toking anymore... so long....