its easier to run

Finally, decisions were finalised today and no more irritating customers to come back time and time again to bother me. there was a tinge of mixed feelings when i heard what my boss spoke with regards to my performance at work. I seriously ponder on whther i should be elated or perhaps deep in reflection.

In any case, leaving spsd decision is also finalised. I sort of let go of all the heart knots inside myself. It is undeniable that i am still suffering from the aftermath of the whole episode(saga), but as i think deeper, it makes no sense to me being bothered time and time again. I mean, what do i stand to gain? nothing at all. It seems like innocent pple no longer prevails and the world is corrupted. Another reason as to why i leave is because i do not wish for my own gf to be dragged into this stupid saga as well. When someone dislike one, pple beside are bound to get affected as well. it is a cause and effect thingy, i mean, it sounds logical. if i dun like u, why would i wanna converse with u? and the fact that because u are there and all the more i dun wan to converse with ur gf, cause u r there hindering me... (think in my head)

this song describes me best....

Easier To Run Lyrics

It's easier to run, replacing this pain with something good
It's so much easier to go than face all this pain here all alone

Something has been taken from deep inside of me
A secret I've got locked away, no one can ever see
Wounds so deep they never show, they never go away
Like moving pictures in my head, for years and years they've played...

If I could change, I would, Take back the pain, I would
Retrace every wrong move that I made, I would
If I could stand up and take the blame, I would
If I could take all the shame to the grave, I would

If I could change, I would, Take back the pain, I would
Retrace every wrong move that I made, I would
If I could stand up and take the blame, I would
If I could take all the shame to the grave...

It's easier to run, replacing this pain with something good
It's so much easier to go than face all this pain here all alone

Sometimes I remember the darkness of my past
Bringing back these memories I wish I didn't have
Sometimes I think of letting go and never looking back
And never moving forward so there'd never be a path...

If I could change, I would, Take back the pain, I would
Retrace every wrong move that I made, I would
If I could stand up and take the blame, I would
If I could take all the shame to the grave, I would

If I could change, I would, Take back the pain, I would
Retrace every wrong move that I made, I would
If I could stand up and take the blame, I would
If I could take all the shame to the grave...

Just washing it aside, all of our nervousness inside
Pretending I don't feel this place is so much simpler than change...

It's easier to run, replacing this pain with something good
It's so much easier to go than face all this pain here all alone
It's easier to run...
If I could change, I would
Take back the pain, I would
Retrace every wrong move that I made...
It's easier to go...
If I could change, I would
Take back the pain, I would
Retrace every wrong move that I made, I would
If I could stand up and take the blame, I would
If I could take all the shame to the grave..