forgiveness is extinct, totally...

work took its toll on me mentally and physically. i would it is not because i am weak... but rather i am lacking from a break, a well deserved break which i have lacked for so long. I desperately need some form of stress management, if not someone to assist me in getting over post ending work blues syndrom. there is simply too much unresolved issues on my mind which i am not entitled the leniency of time to solve them one by one. damn it...

as a man who tends to think a lot and ponder on issues, it suddenly dawn on me how shallow singaporeans are. Not just for locals, in this whole wide world, i would say tht most of the humans are shallow creatures with no sense of forgiveness and a magnanimous heart to accept and also to assist the ones in needy. before i actually commenced with this job, i fell out with a couple of friends. Apologies have been made and yet, it seem tht this stagnent progress will continue for enternity. working these few months has opened my eyes. pple of my working calibre are so much more decent than any of those i knew during my school days... good thing my colleagues are not as shallow as them... haha...

religions have been droning so hard into our minds tht we mus learn to forgive and accept. exactly how many pple are able to do tht? no one... no one is capable of what has been preached. if tht is the case then why practice when one knows tht he or she is unable to attain tht unattainable stage? funny pple indeed. my good frens were from a buddhist society, and base on all the teachings i have been to during those days when i was in SOKA ASSOCIATION(SPSD), benevolence and forgiveness was preached. Everyone said for world peace, for humanity, for religious harmony and also to spread the word. but in actual fact, if one is not even able to make peace with their kins or friends, why bother proclaiming and be a hypocrite? if one is not even to settle all disputes and build up a new relationship which is strong and healthy, pls dun even think about the world because one will bound to fail if he or she tries.

i remember when i was still in spsd, there was this new member who join us for a sharing session over at plaza. Everyone merely introduced themselves and then went back on to their own clogs and carry on chatting while tht poor guy was left there alone all by himself, sitting on the chair like an idiot listenning to our conversations. how insolent and shallow we are! call us practicioners? i would rather proclaim myself as none. In spsd, it suddenly become a game of popularity... how popular u are will depict how leaders are gonna poach one over to their own district. Members who have been inactive will be left alone in issolation or be pushed around by fellow leaders. this will normally leave tht person hanging halfway with no sense of directions, worsening the situation. leaders only regrets when they know tht the member is gone forever.

in christianity, we are constantly thought as well to love our brothers and sisters and also to give and forgive. As jesus has forgive our sins... but exactly how many pple could do tht? none except for God. but even so... where the hell is God when we needed him? ok... no more of him before i enter into another religious lecture. in any case, pple who proclaim they are able to forgiv and forget and accept are the worst eligible candidates.... ha... what a way to put it... but then again, christians are still in fact more benevolent and understanding than buddhist... at least they are not so shallow... in fact, they arent... haha...

if someone were to tell me tht singaporeans are kind and benevolent, i would probably tell tht person to look carefully again at singaporeans motive. what exactly is benevolence and kindness? how do we define tht? attaining the state which mother teresa has attained would then justify what is kindness, benevolence, acceptance, forgivness. if by donating a few dollars and perhaps a huge sum of money, then this world would probably be money orientated. which i guess it is already happening. why do locals donate so much during chairty shows? many pple decline tht it is the price tht pushed them on, but exactly how many pple are not tempted? there was once an interview featured in newspaper, one of the donaters said: donate more, can win more. O_o
OMG

all i gotta say is, upon seeing how members gets pushed about in spsd, how leaders wans to get them back upon realising tht their own members has actually went over to anothewr leader, i dare to say, things will only take a bad turn, not a good turn. put urself in the members shoes:
u have already settled in well, but because ur ex leader took notice of u and took u back in, causing u to plunge into a whole new unfamiliar environment, how would u feel? personally i will not have any good impression of tht leader. reason is simple, a member is not a toy which one can push to here and there.. doing so will only destry all trusty one has for the leaders and thus distant the member away from everything. and one would probably feel tht the leader has no sense of responsibility. fake is the word...

i realise tht sorry this word does not work anymore. pple will not forgiv, pple will not accept one for who he or she is... it all depends on popularity, looks, and charisma. if tht person is popular, pple will move towards one like a magnet whereas the low profile one will always be neglected. reason is simple, nobodies wans to interact as they feel tht ones mood will be affected indirectly...

humans are juz so freaking fake...

scold me if u wan for anyone of u who read this. because it is juz so true... i say what i wan... haha...